Doomed we're all doomed. The world is about to end!!! *wails* Woe, woe, and thrice times woe!!!! *I've always wanted to do that* I've seen the signs, I know what they mean, they've been worrying me for ages, and now I've seen the worst sign of all. *wails woe woe woe some more, just for fun*

     There I was contentedly watching the world go by, as I drove along the road, when I saw a Sign by the Roadside saying Mobile Works Ahead !!!! Don't you understand the meaning of this?? Oh poor unenlightened fools, you obviously lack my vision and knowledge!!!

     Just think about it for a few minutes first we had all those supposed scare stories about mobile phones and the dangers of their radiation to our brains, and we scoffed and laughed, and kept on using the evil objects. And now look what has come of it!!! Oh *wails somemore* We should have heeded the warnings, oh foolish mortals!!! Isn't their vile plot obvious??? The radiation was just a beginning, just a way of quietly gaining control, while distracting us with their text messaging and convenience. And now we have the situation where Mobile Works A Head!!!! That means they've done it!!! They've succeeded, mobiles can now control our brains!!! We're in their power, it may be too late even now!!! Quick quick throw away your mobile now before it's too late!!! Noooooooooooo!!! Don't use it to ring your friends to warn them!!! One more dose of that hideous radiation and it may be able to work your head too!!!!

     There's been other worrying signs too of course, strange strange signs always to be found while driving in your car, strange how signs always hang around roads isn't it???

     Since I've never used a mobile phone I'm free of their mind controlling effects so I'm able now to bring you news of the other strange signs I've seen in my travels, of course there may be more, maybe it's not too late.

     First Cross Roads Well, I'd be cross too if I had cars with nasty muddy tyres driving along me all day and night wouldn't you? Not to mention all those vile fumes, and does anyone bother to thanks a road for letting itself be driven along? No, of course they don't, Typical really! The thing that worries me about this is just what does a cross road do, I mean what if it gets really angry and looses it's temper? Then what?

     Second Bear Left At Roundabout Now this is just plain tragic, it really is, all those poor bears left at rounabouts. Oh how can people be so cruel, it's so sad to see those poor sad bears sitting there waiting and hoping that someone will come and collect the bear they left there. Though I have to admit I sometimes threaten my psycho Teddies with being left at roundabouts if they don't behave, but then when you have teddies armed with sentient honey and you think they might be out to get you well you gotta play tough.

     Third Right Turn Ahead Now at first glance this one seems absolutely nothing to worry about at all, but it's actually been the cause of much trouble, and quite a few crashes. Just picture this for example.

     A Man driving along sees a sign saying Right, Turn A Head, obediently he turns his head, so he now can't see where he's going, and doesn't notice the car that just stopped in front of him. *CRASH*!!!! See what I mean?

     Same man driving along again in his patched up and repaired car, sees sign saying Right, Turn A Head, thinks I'm not doing that again. So, Instead he reaches out and turns his wife's head instead. Thinking he's finally flipped she punches him in the eye, and unable to see.........................Well I'm sure you can guess the rest. See how much trouble even a simple seemingly innocent sign can be???!!

     Fourth Branch Left Ahead Now this is quite possibly the most horrifying and ghastly of them all, once you understand what it really means you may never sleep again!!! Warning if easily scared read no further!!!!! *makes super scary smiley*

     This means that the dark trees from the evil dank forest have been up to their head hunting tricks again, pouncing on unwary wanderers through the woods and tearing off their heads. They then wander around with the severed heads dangling from their limb like branches, untill they get bored and just throw the heads down any old where, meaning to return for them later. But, of course Evil head tearing off Trees have very poor memories indeed, so the helpfull little evil forest gnomes leave signs saying Branch Left A Head, nearby to try to remind them. Just one problem with this Trees cant read.

     So next time you see this sign, shut your eyes and dont look too hard at whats in the undergrowth by the side of the road in case you see something rather nasty staring back at you with sightless undead eyes!!!! And remember never ever go down to the dark woods at night, or you may be the next one whos severed head is left by a branch.

     Oh and don't go down to the woods during the day either, cos the teddy bears are having a picnic, and if they're anything like my teddies they're nearly as bad as decapitating, blood thirsty, head ripping trees!!!!

     So, apart from mind controlling mobile phones, Roaming bears, killer trees, and angry roads we're all perfectly safe. Unless of course you know different???!!!